


better late than never

by johnnysuhs (johnnylisp)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Kinda, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 19:20:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18058511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnylisp/pseuds/johnnysuhs
Summary: Taeyong is painfully aware that even three years of ghosting can't stop him from liking Johnny.





	better late than never

“Tae, I don’t know. I’m just not ready for a relationship right now. We’ve been dating for a few months and I just don’t feel like I’m ready to be serious with you or anybody right now.”

Another day, another argument. It’s difficult for Taeyong to keep arguing over the same thing with his boyfriend, probable ex after this conversation.

“We can break up now if you want. I’m not the one trying to cut things off--you are. Look, I care about you a lot, you know that, but I don’t want to end things. If you do, then just do it. I’m sick of us fighting every other week because suddenly I’m in the way of other things you want!”

Taeyong wants to cry but he won’t. At this point, it’s useless and he just hates feeling like he’s doing something wrong in all of his relationships.

His boyfriend, Taeil, sighs. “I never said that. I care about you, too. It’s not like I want to go out and sleep around. I like being with you. We just aren’t going to work out. We want two different things in life. I just can’t see us working things out in the future and I would rather us break up now before we get to serious and start being actual adults.”

Taeyong couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

“Taeyong,” Taeil whispers, pulling the slim boy into his arms. “Don’t cry. I know you’ll find someone out there who fits you better. That person just isn’t me.”

Trying to calm down, the crying man huffs out, “why do you have to be so gentle. This sucks.”

Taeil just hums, brushing through Taeyong’s brown hair with his fingers. After a few more minutes, he pulls away.

“I’m going to go. I’ll bring you your stuff tomorrow morning.”

 

Taeyong doesn’t really know when he fell for Johnny; he’s always liked him.

Today, Johnny comes back from his three-year study abroad program with the college. He studied his first semester in Seoul and then left to the US for six consecutive semesters. For the last semester of senior year, he would study back in Korea. It was the plan he worked out with his parents and the school. Johnny always loved being independent.

Taeyong took the train from his university campus across town to his childhood neighborhood. Throughout the ride, Taeyong couldn’t help but feel nervous about seeing the “love of his life” for the first time in three years. After he left for college, Johnny’s Facebook profile had been pitifully left as it was and there were no updates about his whereabouts. Snapchat and Instagram were not as common back then, so if he had an account now, Taeyong didn’t know. It’s not like he could have asked his parents, Johnny’s parents, or their mutual friends. They were the only two from their high school who got into SNU. It was literally on a mountain and Taeyong was physically cut off from everyone he used to see on a daily basis.

It still hurts the Taeyong that Johnny never contacted him after he left. His cell phone number remained the same since freshman year of high school, even after switching from his crusty flip phone to touch screen smartphones. Maybe Johnny hated him. Maybe Johnny found out about his big, fat, pathetic crush. Honestly, Taeyong didn’t want to know.

The train ride was coming to end. As he gathers his items for his four-week stay-- the semester did end after all-- Taeyong mentally prepares himself to see Johnny. It would be awkward for sure. Both of their families were close so there’s no denying that there would be some family reunion party at the Seo residence that they would just have to attend.

His mom would sometimes call in typical Asian mother fashion, saying, “Mary said Johnny published his first journal in his college’s review! When are you going to publish your studies?”

Taeyong would smile bitterly through the phone, still heartbroken, but proud.

It was like that time in elementary school when Johnny entered the school’s writing contest. He won first place and it was published in the local newspaper. He was glowing that day and just seeing him happy made Taeyong happy as well.

“You seem more excited than me,” Johnny commented when Taeyong pulled him into a congratulatory hug.

“I’m not. I’m just happy you’re happy,” Taeyong replied innocently.

Okay, maybe Lee Taeyong was a little transparent.

-

His mother rushes out the door with open arms while Taeyong pulls out his luggage from the trunk.

“Lee Taeyong, my baby! Have you been eating? You look skinnier than the last time I saw you.” His mom fusses with his cheeks, commenting on how they weren’t as squishy as usual.

“Mom,” he draws out, “I’m fine. The dance club just finished with the winter showcase and I’ve been working out lately. I’m not a little kid anymore.” His duffle bag was digging into his shoulder uncomfortably as he pulled his luggage along the path to his house.

As he enters, he takes notice of the familiar scent that only his house had. A Christmas tree was placed in the corner of the living room, the lights casting a warm glow on the furniture.

“Where’s dad?”

His mom yells from the kitchen, “he’s grabbing some pizza and chicken. We have to celebrate you and Johnny’s return!”

Taeyong freezes. “Wait,” he coughs, “he’s coming here? Tonight?”

“Yeah! Mary threw out her old couches so I said we could host his welcome back party here.”

“Oh. Well. I’m gonna go put my stuff up.” Taeyong replies stiffly.

He had the worst of luck. It’s like one guy gets rid of him only for the other guy who got rid of him to come back.

After ten minutes of unpacking, his mom comes into his room, her face giddy with curiosity.

“So... Are you inviting Taeil anytime soon?” She sits down on her bed, watching him hang up his jackets.

Right. He never told his parents about their split.

“Uh, no. We… we split up.” He turns around, hoping she wouldn’t react too dramatically. She had been the one rooting for them since they got together because Taeil was “the perfect son-in-law.” His dad praised Taeil for his intelligence and how he was studying medicine.

His mom just frowns apologetically. “Aw, Taeyongie. Come here.”

She opens her arms and he falls right into them, shedding tears for the first time since their breakup three weeks ago. He thought it would be easy to get over it but three weeks is a short time. It still hurt and he hasn’t deleted all the pictures on his iCloud.

“I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong. It feels like all the guys I like just get tired after a few months. Gosh, this is probably how Elle Woods felt when Warner left her for Vivian.” He subtly rubbed his tears into his mom’s red sweater. He really doesn’t want Johnny to see him for the first time in years with a swollen face.

His mom giggles. “At least you know you’ll find your Emmett. You’ll find someone amazing, someone equally as amazing as you, so never settle for less than the best.”

A new round of fresh tears starts to pool at his eyes again. “Thank you, mom. I love you. I don’t even know how I’m going to be an adult and not have you by my side twenty-four seven.”

“Don’t say that. Now go and wash your face. The Seo’s are coming at six.” She pats his back, urging him to get up and do what she told him to do.

Leaving Taeyong with his thoughts, he wonders if he should put a little bit of concealer on. His face looked paler than usual and his under eye circles were more prominent. After a few minutes of debating, he decides to dab some under his eyes and on his eyelids to cover any redness.

Satisfied with his appearance, he runs downstairs to greet his dad.

“Dad!”

“Yonggie! I missed you. How is school? Is Taeil coming by soon?” His dad placed the chicken and pizzas on the table before pulling his only son into a bear hug.

“Dad, we broke up,” he says quietly after pulling away.

“Really? I thought you guys were getting serious?”

“Taewook…” his mom warns.

Taeyong shakes his head. “It’s okay, really. We broke up a few weeks ago. I guess we decided that things weren’t going to work out long term, but I’m fine now.”

“You’ll find someone new soon. You are my son after all! The good looks come from your dad,” his dad exclaims while his mother rolls her eyes.

Taeyong groans. “You’re insufferable,” he jokes, happy that his dad quickly took the attention off of his past relationship. “I’m gonna go back to my room. I’ll be out when everyone is here.”

-

He didn’t have to wait too long until everyone arrived. After an hour, he hears commotion downstairs and he takes that as his cue to leave, but not before looking in the mirror and checking to see if he looked presentable. He runs a comb through his hair, letting it flop down plainly on his forehead. Decorating his ear were a few earrings. He had numerous piercings that were fairly recent. His first one was from his second year of college and his latest was from a few months ago.

He takes a look at a picture of himself taken on his last day of high school that was taped to the left of his mirror and compares it to his reflection. Undoubtedly, he grew up quite handsome. High school wasn’t his best time. Instead of “glowing up,” he felt like his appearance just got worst. Acne began to appear in his senior year and he looked scrawny and small. Luckily, he grew into his features, his acne cleared and he gained more lean muscle. His confidence began to grow as more people took an interest in him, something that never happened to him in high school.

It’s time to go, he thinks. To say he was nervous was an understatement. Sure he’s been in a relationship, a serious one at that, but he knows his feelings for Johnny might come back to light once he sees him. If Johnny changed significantly, maybe his feelings may go away by the end of the night or something. He can move on and get over being ghosted by the guy he used to consider a best friend.

As he descends the stairs, he could hear his mom cooing over Johnny and Johnny’s buoyant laugh. His heart was shaking and his confidence was quickly lowering. Even though he wanted to see him, ignorance was bliss and Taeyong did not want to see how time changed his ex-best friend.

Slowly, he creeps down the stairs until finally, he reaches the bottom.

There he is, sitting on the couch. Johnny still looked the same: the same build, the same heart-shaped face, the same plump lips. The only exception was that he no longer wore Vans shirts and had floppy long hair. Instead, his clothing was replaced with a long brown coat and leather boots. His hair fell right above his eyes and he even sported an undercut. If anything, Johnny just became more handsome. It’s unfair, really.

“Taeyong! Come say hi to Mary and Luke.”

Taeyong didn’t even have time to acknowledge the Suh parents when he saw Johnny whip his head around.

Their eyes meet and for a second, Taeyong thought about how cliche these type of moments are. Now he knows they are called cliches for a reason.

Before Taeyong could embarrass himself any longer, he greets the Suhs politely, sitting on the same sofa as his parents.

“Taeyong, you grew up to be a handsome young man! You must have a girlfriend; there’s no way you could be single!”

Gritting his teeth and ignoring the hand his mother placed on his back, he responds in a collected manner. “Nope, I’m very much single and focusing on getting my degree in a few months.” He smiles hoping that it will somehow hide how uncomfortable he feels. Why does everything have to come back to relationships?

“It’s a shame. Johnny here is single too. You guys should be out dating right now while you’re young,” Luke adds.

Johnny laughs out loud. “I’ll date when I find someone I’m serious about. I’m young and there’s no need to settle or date different people. I just want to focus on myself.”

Taeyong knew that despite his wardrobe change and hair cut, this Johnny is still… Johnny. He always was responsible and committed.

Those were the qualities that drew him in and were qualities that Johnny had ever since they were kids. When Taeyong fell off his bike during one of their numerous races with all the neighborhood children, Johnny would always be the one to help him. It was to the point that other parents deemed Johnny as someone their kids could hang out.

Taeyong laughs nervously, jokingly saying, “same with me. For now, I just need to focus on myself.”

“That’s our Yongie,” his mother beams.

About five minutes later, after all pleasantries were exchanged, Taeyong’s dad announced that dinner was ready. It was obvious why they were eating fried chicken instead of an actual meal after his parents urged the two young adults to eat in Taeyong’s old room and “catch up.”

“Your room is still the same,” Johnny comments after silently following Taeyong into his room.

Taeyong laughs awkwardly, glad he didn’t have to start the conversation first.  
“Yeah,” he says, setting his plate onto his desk. “It’s not like I haven’t really been in here for over four years.”

It wasn’t remotely funny, but of course, Johnny still laughed. And it may have still sent flutters through Taeyong’s heart.

“How was college? Do you still talk to Ten?”

“College is good. I have a job lined up for me already, depending on my final grades. They’ll be good, though. And Ten,” Taeyong pauses for a second, thinking about how he used to be jealous of the short Thai exchange student.

At one point, he thought that maybe Johnny had a crush on Ten. After all, he was extremely cute and he was very talented at everything he did, whether it was dancing, drawing or sports. Thinking about it now, it was pretty dumb because, in the end, Ten ended up confessing to _him_.

“He’s doing well. He said he was trying out for a choreographer position at ‘one of the big three,’ whatever that means. It’s in Korea though, so he might be coming back soon,” he explains happily.

“That’s one of the entertainment companies here. Even I know that” Johnny comments before biting into a chicken leg.

It felt a little surreal, seeing him on Taeyong’s bed eating. They used to sneak food into their rooms and eat it when they were growing up. The scene was familiar except now Johnny was big.

“Whatever,” Taeyong lamely retaliates as he shoves a pickled radish into his mouth.

It’s surprisingly easy to continue a conversation. They make small talk for a good ten minutes until Taeyong realized Johnny didn’t really tell him anything about his college experience.

“So how have you been? How was the U.S.?”

Taeyong feels like Johnny probably wouldn’t have been able to hide the huge smile that grew on his lips even if he tried. There was no way he could even be mad about Johnny’s absence when he looked so happy.

“Oh, Tae. I can’t even describe how amazing it was. I met so many amazing people and friends. I even met the CEO of Intel and he said he as soon as I graduate, I may be able to get a good position in their finance department at their Seoul branch. I also did a road trip during the summer across the states, saw the Grand Canyon, everything. It’s amazing. Obviously, school was hard, but it’s all worth it. I feel like this was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. If I stayed here in Seoul, I knew I wouldn’t have had this experience.”

The shorter male audibly gulps, setting down his chicken wing. So that’s where he’s been. Maybe he was a bit jealous because his college experience was practically hell.

“That sounds amazing. I wish my college experience was a good as yours,” he laughs bitterly.

Johnny looks guilty, which he shouldn’t be. It’s not his fault. At least not entirely.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” he attempts to console.

Taeyong scoffs, unable to hold it back. He didn’t even think before blurting out, “it was bad. You disappeared and didn’t even try to get ahold of me or leave me a way to contact you. No one knew where you were and I just felt shitty because you were one of my best friends. After I got over it, and for some dumb reason, I got into a relationship. That didn’t work out so I dated another person. Again, it didn’t work out. And finally, just when I thought that maybe I found someone who I was serious about, they dump me. Now you’re back here like you’ve never left and I just feel like-” he cut himself off, embarrassment lighting his skin aflame as it rushed through his body.

“Taeyong,” Johnny sighs. “I’m so sorry.” He gingerly wraps his hand around Taeyong’s wrist, pulling him down to sit on the bed. After a few lingering seconds, he lets go.

“I- There’s no real explanation for why I left. Well, actually there is, but I can tell you that another time. I guess I felt kind of trapped here in Seoul. I was so confused about everything and my future that I needed a change in environment. I didn’t tell anyone except my parents because I thought that maybe if I did, I would not want to leave. Honestly, I was a little scared to go back to the US and I kept wondering if it would be the right choice.”

Taeyong listened silently as Johnny spoke about his reasons for ghosting everyone, and as much as Taeyong didn’t want to simply give in to Johnny’s reasoning, it made perfect sense. If he were in the same position, he probably would not do the same thing as Johnny, but he understands where the tall male was coming from.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I still think of you as one of my best friends and I feel horrible about this,” Johnny finishes quietly.

Taeyong moves their plates onto his desk, not sure of what he wanted to say. “It’s okay,” would’ve been appropriate, but it really was not okay to him.

“I forgive you. I am glad we kinda talked about this because I really was planning on ignoring this whole situation.” He pauses before continuing, “I am also really glad you still think of me as one of your best friends because even though we haven’t talked for three years, I still think of you as one of mine.”

There was a hopeful look on Johnny’s face, and there was no doubt that Taeyong’s face mirrored the same expression.

“You’ve changed a lot, but it’s a good change,” Johnny comments.

Before Taeyong was able to get a word out, his mom knocked on his door, interrupting their conversation.

“Taeyong? Taeil’s at the door for you.”


End file.
